Trusting that you'll make something beautiful out of me.

I am a Self-Centered, People Pleasing, Envious, Perfectionist. I am far from perfect and I dissapoint people. I see the flaws in myself every single day and want to be better- try to be better- but am far from being the person who I want to be. I fail. I fail others expections of me and I fail the ones I have for myself.

Thank God, that even though I fail, I am still forgiven. Thank God, that even though I am not who I want to be, I am still loved incredibly. Thank God, that I am not known as a failure, but as His child who can be used by Him despite her shortcomings.

I'm not expecting this YWAM trip to be all fun and easy. In fact- I sense that its gonna be uncomfortable at times and I will be confronted with my own sin and apathy. I'm not scared though- I'm ready for whatever needs to happen for me to realize how much I need to rely on Him.

I've been living comfortably this past year, working and saving, spending time with friends, and I will be honest, neglecting my time with God because it wasn't convenient. I'm ready for that attitude to change. I'm ready to be thrown out of the boat into the storms and coughed up into a foreign land to share the message of His love and forgiveness.

I found this quote awhile ago and it has replayed itself in my mind many times.

I'm ready to surrender my security, what's comfortable, and my own desires to continue to grow into the woman God would have me be.

There is a song that pretty much sums up my prayer and heart for this trip. It's called "Nothing I hold onto" by United Pursuit. Check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCiOL7PIi0o

The lyrics go:

I lean not on my own understanding,
My life is in the hand of the maker of heaven

I give it all to you God, Trusting that you'll make something beautiful out of me

I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open
I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open

There's nothing I hold onto
There's nothing I hold onto.


Tess :)