As the date gets closer and closer my emotions are whirling. I'm trying to stay calm but it's hard to focus anymore. I have sadness for leaving mixed with excitement for going mixed with an anxiety but faith for the unknown. My heart feels like its being crushed under a weight of emotion.
I want to leave already- but yet I don't want to leave just yet. I don't know what to expect- but I know my expectations are going to be blown out of the water.
I hope my friends back here don't forget about me- but are here waiting when I get back. I hope they get close- but not too close that I feel distanced when I return. My insecurities are surfacing- I hope the people in Germany like me- I hope I make some really great friends. I hope God uses me- I'm ready to be used. I want him to push me out of my comfort zone- but yet I don't want that at all.
I'm vulnerable- trusting in God that this was his plan all along- and that he will lead me every step of the way. But I know that is the best place to be.
Proverbs 16:9 "The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.
Tess
Hey Tess!
ReplyDeleteMy mom told me she ran into you the other day, and that you were heading to YWAM Germany. I'm planning on applying for next year. So cool to hear that you're going! It will be great to keep up with your blog posts, and see what God does during your time there. I'll be praying for you!
-Melissa